I'm following the programs, exercising and walking daily so I know I'm doing well.
This week I've had to battle some demons from my past. Those nasty creatures that scratch at the edge of long scarred-over wounds.
Even though I know in this race, slow and steady wins it, I also know there is still a faster path.
It's horrid and violent and unkind to my body, but it's the only thing (this far) that has ever made a drastic difference.
Preposterous, that a morbidly obese woman struggles with anorexia. But, there it is. I name it, I face it, I shoo it out the door.
God really knows the needs of my woman's heart, the need for holy friends who challenge me, check-in, affirm and keep me accountable. One friend in particular (you know who you are), has consistently asked me about my anorexia, about self-love and anxiety and awareness. She has weathered much in her life and it has given her a gift of wisdom, smoothed by constant friction of wretched happenstance, so that loving wise words flow freely.
Today is today, and I shall do with it what I can.
Today I am thankful for:
~A new gathering of women, a faith-sharing group in its seedling stages. Inspired by the Holy Spirit, encouraged into being with the companionship of my aforementioned soul friend, it's exciting and I want to share more....but not just yet.
~Kindergarten and my Jacob man lovin' it. He rocks the socks off of the classroom library, gobbling up Magic Treehouse books left and right, painting up a storm, exploring the new materials and reveling in friendships old and new. Sweet Clara joins Kevin and Jacob for the trolley ride in the morning with never a complaint but much 5 year old chatter about pressing matters.
Like the language they made up----no joke.
It typically goes something like this
Clara: Beeetywallah cooleetah
Jacob: Shrinngi lofta blobbatoo
Jacob: She asked if I wanted to play soccer and I said yes, right Clara?
Clara: Yup
~Cecilia's constantly evolving personality and language. For example, we have started joining a bunch of Village ladies and kiddos for (almost) daily walks to the grotto and back. It's been a wonderful beginning to the day as a cool-down after my cardio workout, the chance to chat with friends and be out in the fresh air. Without fail, as we approach the grotto, Ceci points to the statue Mary and shows some combination of "Mommy Mayee [Mary], Deesoos [Jesus] Mama," or "Mwah Mama," or "Mayee luhhvoo." Tear.
~Sunday beach trip. Good friends, HUGE waves, children satisfied to slip hands and toes through sand for hours. Laughing uncontrollably in the giant waves and---at the risk of sounding super cheesy--I felt like God was wanting to show off a bit of a playful side. And I jumped on that hootinanny like, well, like a kid on a jungle gym.
Yup, I said it.
~Pilates, dance and kick-boxing workouts that kick my tuckus, jump-start my day and bring on the burn. Oh, and that bittersweet muscle soreness that lets me know I've brought it.
You may notice this post is sadly short, and even more sadly sans pictures. In the interest of more frequent posting, I'm trying not to feel the need to put everythingonmymindinonepost....also, when my battery charger decides to show up again, I promise the screen shall come alive!
Have a happy hump day!