Planner=Sanity

The more I get to know myself (an ever-evolving process), the more I recognize and tarry with my idiosyncrasies.

When you walk in my house, you might think I don't care.  There are random boxes and piles of paper on the desk, perhaps some dishes in the sink, recycling boxes ready to go out and a pile of laundry on the couch.  One might think, "Huh.  She's a little messy, but it doesn't seem to bother her."


The thing is...IT DOES.  It irks me to no end.  And, as I believe I've said before, the only person who has been able to call me on my business is Flo, the mother of dear Carmen.  She said, "Danielle, you're problem is actually perfectionism.  You want things done perfectly, so you can't get anything done." 

Thank you, Flo.  You rock.

Many times I won't even let my closest friends come in because I'm afraid of being misunderstood.  Now, I know full well some people are messy and it just doesn't bug them.  More power to you, and I'm hoping to let go of some of the anxiety that comes with everyday messes.  The worst thing about mine is I'm always thinking about what needs to be done, always reorganizing, always trying to fit too many things into a too-small space.  Add that to my predisposition to time management challenges, and you find a hyper focused Danielle sitting on the bedroom floor going through my jewelry box piece by tiny piece surrounded by a mountain of laundry to fold.

My desk is OUT.OF.CONTROL. right now, heaping with bits and bobs, craft items and stationary because I want to find the perfect, aesthetic organization for each item which warrants several hours of uninterrupted time laying everything out on the floor and working at the puzzle.  

Huh.  

That's an impossibility with 500 sq. feet for four people and a dissertating husband....no space and no time to have a huge organizational overhaul.


Baby steps, baby.  That's what I need to take.

As I'm learning and researching more about ADD, I've come to some decisions:
1).  I am going to forgo medication for now.  Although I think it could certainly help, we very much want to have more children and with the possible risks to early fetal development I'm not comfortable taking it.

2).  Because I won't be medicating, I need to commit to behavioral modifications.  
           a).  Make my planner another appendage.  You better  
                 believe I researched the heck out of my options to find
                 the perfect balance of beauty/function and I think I found
                a good one.  
                                       Source:  http://www.sweetpeasandstilettos.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/orange-circle-studio-do-it-all-planner.jpg
             

 

Am I the only one that revels in the blank canvas of an empty planner, picking the perfect inky pen to transfer important dates and begin organizing time? 

           b).  FINALLY print off my zone charts and control journal  for FLY Lady routines.  The simple act of small bursts of daily cleaning fits well with my jam-packed mind.  If you don't know about FLY Lady, her life management approach is very user-friendly.  I'd recommend reading her book Sink Reflections.

http://www.amazon.com/Sink-Reflections-Marla-Cilley/dp/0553382179

            c).  Keep up with my daily prayer, exercise, WW tracking  and Mass at least once extra a week.

3).  I need to be more gentle with myself.  The more self-critical I am, the less I am able to get done.  Instead of over-thinking, just act.

4).  If I want something done and I'm able to, I need to just do it myself, within healthy boundaries.

5).  With improved time management, make space in my week to do the things I love like sewing, crochet, knitting, photography and BLOGGING.

And tonight I shall begin....though I have much more to share and write, I am tired.  

Instead of waiting until tomorrow to post so that I can spend time editing photos and writing, I shall leave off with what I have.

Baby steps.

New Year, Celebrating Jacob William Lugar Harvey Haley :)

Today marks a big day for us.


It's the first day of 2012, a full year ahead with much to anticipate.


It's the Solemnity of Mary as Mother of God in which we celebrate that Jesus, fully Divine, became fully Human within the womb of the most pure and virgin Mary.  Because of her fiat, her yes, the Holy Spirit descended upon her and she conceived the Son of God, who is God, which blesses her with the title of Mother of God.

For those interested in further reflection,  this is quite beautiful.  If you'd like to just continue on with my ramblings, you may scroll down until you see the **************
Source:  http://www.cptryon.org/compassion/mary/trad04.html

The Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God. (January 1)

Madonna and Child - Bellini

This feast, closely connected to the feast of Christmas, is the most important and oldest of the major feasts of Mary. It is based on the source of her privileges: her motherhood. Jesus Christ, God's Son " born of a woman," (Galatians 4,4) came to deliver us from sin and make us children of God. He is also Mary's Son, and she, his mother, helps bring his blessings to the world. She is

"truly the Mother of God and of the Redeemer...not merely passively engaged by God, but freely cooperating in the work of our salvation through faith and obedience." (Lumen Gentium,53,56)

Mary was not simply a passive instrument in God's hands; rather she discovered and accepted new dimensions to her motherhood as her life unfolded. Scripture indicates signs of her new unfolding motherhood.
At the marriage feast in Cana in Galilee, where Jesus worked his first miracle, Mary is "the Mother of Jesus" who manifests

" a new kind of motherhood according to the spirit and not just according to the flesh, that is to say Mary's solicitude for human beings, her coming to them in the wide variety of their wants and needs. At Cana in Galilee there is shown only one concrete aspect of human need, apparently a small one and of little importance ("They have no wine"). But it has a symbolic value, this coming to the aid of human beings means, at the same time, bringing those needs within the radius of Christ's messianic mission and salvific power." (Pope John Paul 11, Redemptoris Mater 21)

Mary's care for humanity and its needs would not limited to her earthly life; it lasts "without interruption until the eternal fulfilment of all the elect. (Lumen Gentium, 62)
Whether in her own lifetime or from her place in heaven, Mary's solicitude for human beings looks, above all, to making known the messianic power of her Son. At Cana in Galilee she told the servers at table, "Do what he tells you." (John 2,5) In all her care for others, she points out Jesus to them.
Throughout her life, then, Mary was a follower of her Son. At the foot of the cross, her motherhood reached a new maturity when Mary experienced her Son's redeeming love for the world. Her spirit was touched and refined by the mystery of his death and resurrection.
From his cross, Jesus, seeing his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing there, said to Mary, "Woman, behold your son."(John 19,25-27)

"The words uttered by Jesus signify that the motherhood of her who bore Christ finds a 'new' continuation in the Church and through the Church, symbolized and represented by John. " (Redemptoris Mater, 24)

Before Pentecost, awaiting the coming of the Holy Spirit promised by Jesus, the disciples "continued with one mind in prayer with the women and Mary, the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren."(Acts 1,14) "Thus Mary who is present in the mystery of Christ as Mother becomes- by the will of the Son and the power of the Holy Spirit- present in the mystery of the Church. In the Church too she continues to be a maternal presence, as is shown by the words spoken from the cross:'Woman, behold your son.' 'Behold, your mother.' "
Readings for the feast
The principal reading for the feast, from St. Luke's gospel, describes the shepherds coming to Bethlehem where they

"found Mary and Joseph and the baby lying in a manger." (Luke 2,16-21)

Mother and son are found together. She presents her Son to them. In fact, she will always point to him. As a pilgrim of faith, she "treasured all these things and reflected on them in her heart"; at the same time, she invites other pilgrims to treasure and reflect on the mystery of Jesus Christ.
Along with the Byzantine and Syrian churches, which celebrate the feast of the Mother of God (Theotokos) on December 26, the Roman church celebrates this primary feast close to the feast of the Birth of Jesus Christ. For

"only in the mystery of Christ is her mystery made clear." (Redemptoris Mater)

 *******************
Tonight is also the eve of my Jacob William's 6th birthday.  SIX YEARS OLD!!!  At one in the same time I cannot remember life without him, but it seems the pre-Jacob life was a blink of an eye ago.

I remember 6 years ago tonight going in to get cervadil, thinking, "Oh, we'll just wake up tomorrow, get induced an pop that baby out."  

Don't we look like BABIES?!?!?!

With my enormous support group by my side, I faced the day with gusto and laughter.

Well, 11 hours of high-dose pitocin with no pain meds later, I was taken into c-section.  I still remember Kevin and I sobbing as I got the epidural, Alicia and Mama praying over me. 

Though I certainly mourned losing the type of birth I had, I cannot tell you the ecstatic joy I felt when they finally placed him in my arms.  

I just yelled, 

"My baby!!!"

Jacob William was born into a community of immense love, a tribe of people ready to celebrate his life and surround him in a blanket of support and joy so that he would know from the beginning that he was cherished and special.
 

 

 My sweet boy, you are such a gift to us!  We love you beyond words...to googleplex and infinity and beyond. 

Have a blessed first Monday of 2012!!


P.S.  Be prepared for more Jacob posting later....silly Blogger is not letting me upload any more videos.  :(