I have been a tardy husband. I have promised Danielle for months that I would write a guest post for her outstanding blog, and for one reason or another (e.g. writing a dissertation, hanging out with the kids, manual labor, household chores), I have consistently put it off. The procrastination ends now.
The thing I was going to write about in January was how happy I was to be back in Israel, but this time with my family. Last summer here was amazing, but being separated from Danielle, Jacob, and Cecilia was one of the saddest experiences of my life. After being here together for well over three months, this topic is nearly obsolete. It has been great to be here with them and to share with them so many of my experiences from last summer.
Traveling is usually a good occasion for getting some perspective on life, for broadening one’s view of the world, for seeing things in a new way (http://gpodder.net/episode/1714908). This trip has been no exception. You see, Israel is different than Indiana in many ways (the people, the food, the landscape, the conflict, the history, the holiness, the almost complete lack of Mitch Daniels). Being here has made all of us appreciate even more our family, friends, parish, places of school and work, having a car, the existence of bacon, and cheaper groceries (Are these prices really necessary, Israel?).
Visiting holy and historical sites with the family has been delightful, On a few occasions, I have been able to go to the Western Wall with Jacob to pray. Last summer, I admit I was jealous to see various Jewish men going up to the Wall with their sons to pray. Now I can share that with Jacob, and I don’t think he’ll ever forget it. Going to many places from the Gospel with him and watching him make the connections in his own mind has been beautiful for me as a father to watch.
Amidst the traveling about and holy sites, most of my days are spent as they normally are back home, sitting quietly in a library, reading and writing. This probably sounds boring to most people, but it is how I flourish. I have an unquenchable, if not unhealthy, desire to learn as much as I can about everything, from my relatively open tendency to study the Bible and theology to my lesser known loves of philosophy, contemporary politics, semiotics, sociology, satire, alliteration, film (both primary and secondary sources), professional comedians (thanks Marc Maron!), poetry, and science. Like Danielle, I am an admitted beauty addict and refuse to get help.
It can be traumatic to uproot one’s family and go somewhere else, whether temporarily or permanently. Those who are forced to relocate because of a job, military obligations, family reasons, or political strife know this too well. Since Cecilia doesn’t know any better, the trip has been hardest on Jacob, who misses his family, friends, and school. Unlike me, he is what you might call “social” and enjoys spending time with friends. He has flourished in his own ways here (learning a ridiculous amount of material and skills-think Napoleon Dynamite) but is eager to get home and back to his routine of structured mayhem.
It has been lovely to watch my bride flourish here. While she initially underwent something like what Jacob did, plus a side dish of sleep deprivation, she nevertheless thrives on solitude and quiet like few people I have ever known. What is great about Tantur is that is ideal for anyone. If you want to see people, they’re here, especially at meals. If you don’t, you can stay in your room or go to the library, which is almost guaranteed to be empty, with the exception of a certain strange looking “never nude” who is writing a dissertation on the Psalms. Since Danielle has a great appreciation both for being with people (she is known by many as “The Awkward Diffuser” and has an extraordinary gift of bringing people together) and for being alone, the environment has been perfect for her. Add to this our enormous apartment here, which dwarfs the one back home, and you get a much happier Mama.
Danielle is a voracious reader, and I have long envied the speed with which she can read almost any kind of book. Needless to say, she has devoured several giant books while we’ve been here, and I can confidently say that her desire for learning has been set ablaze. If I could read as fast as she could, I would have finished graduate school long ago and already have tenure. It has also been delightful to observe her random but effective homeschooling of Jacob. The kid is learning so much (reading, math, State capitals, how to use an obnoxious number of parentheses), mostly because of Danielle’s tireless dedication, inventiveness, and shared curiosity.
We are eager to go home soon, but I know that Danielle and I will mourn our leaving. It has been a fruitful time for us as a family and especially for us to grow closer as a couple. Our marital spats are up there with the best of them (no, not quite “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” -probably closer to the other well known Elizabeth Taylor film “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” but without the repressed sexuality and alcoholism), but the extra time we have together here has made us fall ever deeper in love. We have been best friends for just over 10 years, and our time together here has reminded both of us why this is the case. I will never be able to thank her enough for her willingness to go on this adventure with me.
I will try not to be as much of a stranger to the blog. Given the recent posthumous release of his final novel on Tax Day, I should probably offer some thoughts on David Foster Wallace in the coming weeks. We’ll see…
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